Thoughts on Education | May 2016

I know I haven't been around much, but revision has well and truly taken over. And it has got me thinking about a lot of things.

There are so many of us who do our best, revise as much as we can, but then we compare ourselves to others and automatically feel inadequate. "Oh no", we think, "I haven't done enough", "I am going to fail" and "What happens then?" I know that I have definitely felt this way over the last couple of months. People saying "You will be fine!", but you automatically think "No, I won't."

GCSEs are confusing, they are less about your knowledge and a lot more on your memory, which gives an advantage to those who can easily memorise and a disadvantage to those who cannot. For example, French GCSE. The idea is that you have 2 papers, a listening and a reading, 2 speaking tests and 2 writing tests. However, those speaking tests and writing tests are completely based on memory. I don't need to understand what I am saying or writing, as long as it makes sense and I remember it all.

It frustrates me because a lot of what we learn is not necessary for everyday life. Even things like learning phrases in French is not useful because half of them don't make sense when you are saying them to a French person. What is the point in that?

Also, the fact that we are now being encouraged to take subjects like sciences, maths, English and humanities. Ridiculous. What if I don't want to do that. My whole school life has been based on my music and no government is going to tell me to stop doing that and do something I don't want to study so that I get on in the world.

The whole education system, in Britain at least, has taken a turn for the worst. Why am I studying this? Why am I memorising this? If you think about it, I am making a lot of sense. But many people don't think so.

Also, what are you getting out of memorising the equation for the volume of a cylinder or the quotes from 'Of Mice and Men'? Nothing at all. It is completely pointless and unnecessary.

What do you think?

Stay happy,
Katie xx

Dear February

Dear February,

It has been so long! Well, a year, but so much has happened since I last saw you!

Although your name is weirdly spelt and your weather is confusing and changeable, you always seem to be a good month to me. So much happens in February. School plays, half term, exam preparation. This month, I am going to Nice with school. There will be many pictures to share with you, so look forward to that, February!

However, it is also a month where lots of bad things happen. It is the time where I realise that I need to pull myself together and start revising for summer exams. It is the time where tea becomes even more of a necessity and I spend more time at my desk than outside.

But there are things to look forward to in March, like going to Bath and seeing Adele in concert! So February, be kind to me and be good to me because I am fragile and need handling with care. I break easily.

Stay happy,
Katie xx

That Heart Sinking Feeling

Recently, I have had many a time where I have expected something to be so good or something to be exactly as I would like, but it hasn't been. Then you get the feeling. That feeling where your heart moves 4 inches into you stomach because it isn't right and you are sad that maybe you can't do anything about, or you just aren't happy with it.

For example, when you come to school and then your favourite person isn't there. They may have texted you or they may not have done, but they aren't there all day or maybe even all week and you still have to live through it, with the fact that there is a person-shaped hole in the day. Like when your friend is ill and you want to tell them something in a lesson or make a joke, but you can't because it was between you and them and they aren't there.

Or when you get so excited about something because it is going to be such a good day but then something happens like the person you dislike tags along or you go for a shorter amount of time than you had thought you would be there for. But then you shrug it off, even though if you think about it, your heart sinks again.

Some days, my heart sinks so far that I think it might fall out because it has moved so far. Recently, with results and expectations so high, that feeling has become all too common and you have to step back and think about it in reality.

That person who you want to be there is on the other end of a phone, perhaps, if you need them. Or they might not be, so you write a card and get a friend to give it to them so that they know you are thinking of them. And that thing you are excited about will be just as fun, you just have to jump over the obstacle. Think about it like that and things might feel a bit better.

But sometimes, that person who you want to be there, isn't. And they never will be again. And as much as you look at photos of them and the memories of the happy times flood back, they will never be there to see you grow, to be proud of you. They may do up there, watching down on you, but they will never be by your side. And you cry and cry but you can't make it better. And it does get better.

I was watching a program the other day and there was a quote that said: "They might be gone forever, but they are never forgotten."
I'm going to leave it there because I know that I am welling up. I know that went deep, but I had to get my thoughts out onto paper and that is what my blog is about. Finding people who are feeling the same as me.

Stay happy,
Katie xx